a new shiny red cutlass
dad loved cars
a new one every two years
paid for by the government
he drove all over the island
to work
came home
and parked it in the yard
for all to see and admire
you couldn’t miss
the shiny red car
he wore a special uniform
to work
gray wool
gold buttons
which the government crest on them
shoulder tabs
light blue pressed collared shirt
stripped tie
government issue
he was proud
proud of his job
a peace officer
licence examiner
he liked his fellow workers
they were family to him
and made him feel less lonely
because home was lonely
and he struggled with that
lived away for a long time
drank when he came home
or faught
or both
he was traveling home
on the trans Canada highway
in Little Bras’dor
I know the spot still
even 50 years later
where a driver forced him off the road
to avoid a crash
he left the highway and
crashed into a ditch
rolling a few times
until the car
came to a
stop
he got out
I don’t know if anyone was around to help
the red shiny car
was totalled
the roof all flattened
its a wonder he survived
he came in the backdoor
shaking and crying
seeking love
and support
a hug
my mother looked saw him
in his pain
and brokenness
and
laughed
at
him
no empathy
no sympathy
no support
but laughter
ridicule
soul killing ridicule
for his weakness
I sat spellbound
I looked at him
seated
head bowed dow
sobbing
stricken
not just by the crash
but
her